ISLAMIC MARRIAGE

Allah(swt) has given us our religion, prescribing every walk of life and we should understand that if the entire world joins together and researches with all their hard efforts, we will never be able to find a better or a more easier way than what Allah(swt) has ordained for us. Allah(swt) has ordained these ways completely and totally for our sole benefit,  if we adhere to it, we stand to gain tremendously in this world and in the next. Allah(swt) knows fully well, every atom of His creation from the very beginning when they were created from a vacuum to the very end, where they will return to a vacuum;  and then He would recreate them and whatever will be after that to the very end, He is totally aware of the whole cycle.  Anyone with common sense would clearly understand that such a being could alone formulate and frame faultlessly the laws and regulations and none, whomsoever they may be, could ever find fault or contradict it in any way. So being the case, He has chosen the Prophets to show mankind a crystal-clear path.

As for marriage, Allah(swt) has ordained through the Prophet that what is necessary for a legal marriage would be a consent of the bride and bridegroom; this is most essential. For, if either do not consent to the marriage, the marriage will be invalidated. Next, the Mahr  would have to be fixed and it is the bride, who has to determine as to what she wants as Mahr. She could even waver it off, but whatever she asks would be the Mahr.  And then, invariably any agreement made between two persons or more should always be written out or witnessed by witnesses. Hence, this marriage agreement should have two witnesses;  and a wali (guardian) like the bride’s father, brother, or uncle to give the bride in marriage.  This is all that is necessary for a valid Islamic marriage.  Unlike today’s Muslims’ marriage practice, there is no Quran ayat or hadees authenticating the invitation for the marriage and a big dinner or lunch being served for the marriage. To be frank, Islam does not advocate the advertisement of a girl coming to age or a boy’s circumcision, and also that so and so the bride and the bridegroom are going to consummate their marriage. On the other hand, it is the Walima given that declares to the public that so and so are married and living a legal married life.

After the marriage, it is very very essential that the bride and the bridegroom spend their night together alone and also, it is a must that the bride should be clean of her menses at the time of marriage. This is clearly illustrated by Rasool (s.a.w.) marriage with Safia (r.a.).

We arrived at Khaibar, and when Allah helped His Apostle to open the fort, the beauty of Safiya bint Huyai bin Akhtaq whose husband had been killed while she was a bride, was mentioned to Allah's Apostle. The Prophet selected her for himself, and set out with her, and when we reached a place called Sidd-as-Sahba,(on the evening of the third day)' Safiya became clean from her menses then Allah's Apostle married her. Hais (i.e. an 'Arabian dish) was prepared on a small leather mat. Then the Prophet said to me, "I invite the people around you." So that was the marriage banquet of the Prophet and Safiya (took place on the next day). Then we proceeded towards Medina, and I saw the Prophet, making for her a kind of cushion with his cloak behind him (on his camel). He then sat beside his camel and put his knee for Safiya to put her foot on, in order to ride (on the camel).

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith
Hadith 5.522Narrated by
Anas bin Malik

The Prophet stayed with Safiya bint Huyai for three days on the way of Khaibar where he consummated his marriage with her. Safiya was amongst those who were ordered to use a veil.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith
Hadith 5.523Narrated by
Anas bin Malik

 

 

Today, some of the people conduct the marriage early morning and give the Walima (marriage banquet) in the afternoon.  This is against the sunnah of Rasool(s.a.w).  For, you can never find an instance where the Prophet (s.a.w) or the Sahabas doing it in such a way – the usual practice of the Prophet and the Sahabas was to spend the night with the bride and then only give the Walima or marriage banquet;  the Walima could either be a banquet or just a small tea party or just distributing some sweets as the case might be in accordance  to the financial status of their families.  Also, the Walima could be given with the help of friends and relatives;  also for in another Hadees Rasool(s.a.w) asks all the Sahabas present to bring out all the edible food stuff they have and they brought out all the foodstuff available and that is how Safiya’s Walima was conducted. If they cannot afford this, they could even announce it on the speaker that so and so are married and living a legal married life. This is the main essence of the Walima to advertise that both, the bride and bridegroom are living a valid married life. This is all that is necessary for a marriage conducted in accordance with Islamic practices as shown by the Prophet (s.a.w) and the Sahabas. All other functions and ceremonies conducted in the name of marriages are biddaths to be strictly avoided and refrained from.

This type of marriage could be easily done by a great king as well as the most poverty-stricken person also. This is the purpose of Allah(swt) showing us the way. Now, tell me can you find a better way than this? Also tell me, do you see the difference of today’s marriage in the Islamic houses and how much they strain and burden themselves with marriage events and how much tension the parents have to undergo for their girl’s marriage,  and how much they fume and fret when their daughters have to be married. It becomes a tedious and a tiresome troubled undertaking they have to undergo for conducting this marriage. In contrast, see the simple and the excellent manner in which Allah(swt) has guided us to conduct the marriage. It is because we have thrown away Allah(swt)’s and Rasool(s.a.w)’s ways, which was given for us and our betterment. See for yourself, what a great difference between what Allah and His Prophet has said and what we are doing today.

If the girl’s side or the girl’s family opt to give certain presents like jewels and house commodities,  the bridegroom can accept it by all means as Rasool(s.a.w) gave Ali(r.a) a house, a cot, a bed, bed sheet, water jug, grinding stone, etc. etc. So in case the girl’s side wants to give some presents to the bridegroom,  then he is most welcome to receive them, but definitely at no cost would he be permitted to ask the girl’s side for this and that it would be considered a great harassment and a great sin, and it would be totally unIslamic.

In case of Fathima(r.a)’s marriage Rasool(s.a.w) took Fathima(r.a) on the day of marriage after Maghrib prayers and left her in Ali(r.a)’s house and the next day Ali(r.a) conducted the Walima – he gathered Idhkhir a grass required by goldsmiths and sold it to them and conducted the Walima.

Marriage (Walima) is a great occasion for enjoyment and celebration. Rasool (s.a.w.) has advocated music and drama during these occasions. Unlike the age-old custom, where people say that Islam bans music, it is the other way round. Islam advocates music, dance, and drama on these occasions. Rasool (s.a.w.) himself has advised in these occasions entertainments. It is not what Rasool (s.a.w.) meant that music instruments are satanic;  Rasool (s.a.w.) would never entertain such satanic instruments if it was really satanic. He meant it like the black dog being satan and the camel being satanic in nature or quality, which does not in any way prevent people from keeping a black dog for guarding or hunting; or the camel for riding or eating; at one time when asked whether one could pray in the sheep pen, Rasool(s.a.w) replied in the affirmative so also with the cow pen, but when asked about the camel pen, he said don’t pray in the camel pen as the camel is satanic in nature and would hinder your prayer.  As far as Music is concerned, what he meant is, if its an obsession,  music would certainly destroy the amals; hence,  he wanted to restrict the use of these entertainments to certain occasions and he wanted to warn us that excess use which would be inadvisable.  Rasool (s.a.w) would never entertain a satanic instrument or a satanic act by listening to music and songs if it was supposed to be completely and totally refrained from;  but from sahih hadeeses, we come to know that Rasool (s.a.w) not only listened to music and songs, he also called Aisha (r.a) and asked her to watch the black woman’s dance and also to the songs and the music they played, and also the drama they enacted. Well, during the time of Rasool(s.a.w), the Daff  and the Tambourine was the only musical instrument used, well that is what they had, like the camel and horse and donkey that they had for riding, but today we have the car, bus, train, plane, etc. etc. now you won’t tell me that since Rasool(s.a.w) used the animals we too should use only these animals for riding; likewise the Daff and Tambourine was the only music instrument they had but now we have many a instruments and definitely we could use them all as long as we do not disturb others .

For the horse of Pharaoh went in with his chariots and with his horsemen into the sea, and the Lord brought again the waters of the sea upon them. But the sons of Israel went on dry land in the middle of the sea. And Miriam the prophetess, the sister of Aaron, took a timbrel (a musical instrument similar to tambourine) in her hand. And all the women went out after her with timbrels and with dances. And Miriam answered them, Sing to the Lord, for He has triumphed gloriously. The horse and his rider He has thrown into the sea.
(Exodus 15: 19-21)

And all the people came up after him, and the people piped with pipes, and rejoiced with great joy, so that the earth was torn with their sound.
(1 Kings 1:40)

Narrates  Aishah (rta): The Messenger (sws) of God came to my residence while two female singers were singing the songs of Bu’ath.  The Holy Prophet (sws) lay down and turned his face to the other side. Meanwhile Abu Bakr (rta) entered and [seeing the singers] rebuked me thus:  Satanic musical instruments in the presence of the Holy Prophet (sws)?  On hearing this God’s Messenger (sws) turned towards him and said:  Let them [sing and rejoice]. When Abu Bakr was engaged in some other business, I signalled to the girls [to go out] and they left. It was on the Id day.

(Bukhari, No: 907)

 

Aishah (rta)reports: An Ansari girl lived under my guardianship and I arranged her marriage. The Holy Prophet (sws) came to my house on the day she was married and did not hear any songs or any other joyful activities. [Observing this] he asked of me: Did you people sing to her or not?  This is the tribe of the Ansar who like singing, he added.

(Ibn Hibban, No: 5875)

 

Narrates Anas Ibn Malik: [Having entered the city], the Holy Prophet (sws) passed through a certain part of the town. Suddenly some slave girls appeared singing on the Daff  the following ditty: We are the slave girls of Bani Najjar.   How lucky! This day the Holy Prophet (sws) has come to be our neighbor. At this the Holy Prophet (sws) remarked:  God knows that I love you people.

(Ibn Majah, No: 1899)

 

The Holy Prophet had a Had, Anjashah. He had a very sweet sound. [During one of his journeys] the Holy Prophet (sws) said to him: Slow down, Anjashah, lest you should break the delicate goblets. Qatadah explained that the Prophet (sws) was referring to delicate women.

(Bukhari, No: 5857)

 

Narrates Rabi, daughter of Muwwadh: On the occasion of my transfer to my husband’s home after marriage, the Holy Prophet (sws) came to visit us and sat down on my bed just as you [the next narrator] are sitting before me now. Some slave girls were beating the Daff and singing in lamentation of their forefathers who had been killed during the battle of Badr. Then one of the girls sang:  Among us is the Prophet (sws) who knows even what will happen in coming days.  At this, the Holy Prophet (sws) said:  Do not say this, but go on singing.

(Bukhari, No: 3779)

 

The Holy Prophet (sws) said:  the only thing that distinguishes the allowable act (i.e. Nikah) from the forbidden one (fornication) is the beat of the tambourine and open declaration of the Nikah.
 (Ibn Majah, No: 1896)

Narrates  Aishah (rta): The Holy Prophet (sws) was present among us when suddenly we heard children creating noise. The Holy Prophet (sws) stood up. [We found out] that a black slave woman was dancing encircled by children. The Holy Prophet (sws) [called me] saying:  Aishah (rta), come and watch. I came [to him] placed my chin over the Prophet’s shoulders and watched through the space between his shoulders and head. The Holy Prophet (sws) asked many times:  Have you not got enough of it?  In order to know how he cares for me I continued replying in the negative. Meanwhile  Umar (rta) came and the gathering disbursed [seeing him]. At this the Holy Prophet commented:  I see that the devils from among the Jinn and the humans have fled at Umar arrival.
(Tirmidhi, No: 3691)

 

Anas (rta) narrates: Black slaves were dancing in front of the Messenger (sws) of God and sang the following words: Muhammad (sws) is a pious person. The Holy Prophet (sws) [did not understand their utterances] and asked what they were saying. The people replied: they say that Muhammad (sws) is a pious person.
(Ahmad, No: 12562)

 

Narrates Aishah (rta): Once on an Id day the Abyssinian slaves came and started dancing in the mosque.  The Holy Prophet (sws) called me. I placed my head on the Holy Prophet’s shoulder and started watching their performance. [The Holy Prophet did not stop me] until I myself got tired of watching them and turned away.
(Muslim, No: 892)

 

 Aishah (rta) reported that once she married a woman to an Ansari man. The Prophet (sws) said: O! Aishah, what is it that there is no singing and playing whereas the Ansar take delight in this.
Bukhari (No: 4867)

 

What I’m stating is this – that if Music was haraam or Music instruments were Haraam or satanic instruments,  Rasool(s.a.w) would never have listened to it or entertained it ever – he would have not even allowed it – he wants us to believe like the black dog and the camel, Music too is satanic in nature or quality.

Similarly, even taking photos is permissible because Islam bans images like drawing, moulding, and carving but Rasool (s.a.w) did not prohibit standing before a mirror. The image in the mirror is certainly not counted as haraam and hence, today’s photography also is just a replica of the image of the mirror. Hence, as long as the person does not alter his image in photoshops, the photo is permissible in Islam. Had it been prohibited, Rasool (s.a.w) would have prohibited veiwing oneself in front of the mirror also.  And today, the photo is very very essential for ID proofs all over the world and Islam is not a religion, which would unnecessarily ban essential necessities thereby causing unnecessary problem for the entire world. Islam is a religion of ease and not of hardship. Allah wants persons to know that He is simplifying and making things easy for the success, victory, and triumph of the humankind in this world and the next.

He has chosen you and has imposed no difficulties on you in religion (God has made things easy for you);

Quran – 22:78

Brothers and Sisters Allah has given the Religion Islam to make things easy for us; so let us not indulge in excesses and let’s take the religion for  what Allah(s.w.t) gave it for us – had it not been for the Benevolence and Mercy of the Great Lord Almighty we too would have been indulging in idol worshipping and flaunting ceremonies of no sense  whatsoever,  and would not have had any value to the real life that the Great Lord has given us, It is only by His Mercy and Grace that we have embraced Islam – being so let us utilize it in a way it should be utilized and be Most Victorious in this world as well as the next.(aameen) – And please understand that ISLAM would never never contradict TRUTH at anytime.

Wishing you ALL THE VERY BEST
A.H.Nazeer Ahmed.

 

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